Losing It
by jamillahwitt21
Summary: T/W: Abuse, Language, Sex Dean is afraid of he is losing the love of his life and the only way to pull him back in is through the help of his ex-lover.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Explaining To Do**

Dean heard the knocking, he just thought it was his head. "It's open," he slurred. He had had a rough night. He went out for the first time in ages and old demons got the best of him. Before he knew it he had ditched his friend, Bo, to hang with the coke heads in the back of the club. He didn't even know how he had gotten into his own bed this morning, but he was grateful for it. He wasn't surprised to see that Bo wasn't lying next to him after what had taken place. "I sannit's opeh!" He said trying to gain control of his words. "Dean. Can you come to the door?" Corey yelled. "Comin'" Dean stumbled out of bed and into the wall in the darkened hallway. Finally reaching the door, he twisted it open. "Hey Corey, wannar ya doin' here?" "Dean, are you drunk?" Corey asked surprised. "No. Whynus everone keep assin' me dat." "Dean you were supposed to be at work today. Where were you?" "I've been sleep all day." Dean said finally getting a sentence out. "I fucked up last night." Dean admitted. "Did you snort last night?" Corey asked looking Dean in the eyes. "Of course I did. I completely lost Bo last night, I don't even know how I got home." Dean exclaimed. "Dean, maybe you should see someone about this." Corey said in all seriousness. "No. No! I just want to know where Bo is. I got clean before on my own and I can get clean again on my own." Dean told Corey. "Why don't you call him?" Corey asked. "I can't. He hasn't paid his phone bill this month. I don't know where he lives, either. He doesn't tell me anything." Dean reflected. "God, I'm so stupid!" Dean pulled at his hair with both hands. "Every time I get something good going for myself, I always, always manage to fuck it up." Dean motioned for Corey to come in. As soon as they were inside, Dean took Corey into his arms. "I can't do anything right Core. Does that make me a bad person?" Dean was crying at this point and Corey began to feel a lump rising in his own throat. "Of course not," Corey said stroking at the nape of Dean's hair. "You're not a bad person Dean, you just make," Corey paused making sure to pick his words carefully. "questionable decisions," he finished. This made Dean chuckle. "You want a beer?" Dean looked Corey in his big green eyes. "Nah. We should go somewhere." Corey said in an attempt to deter his friend from one of his many vices. "Let's go to lunch." Corey suggested. "Yeah, just let me get ready." Dean said. "Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but you could really use a shower." Corey laughed with a small bit of truth behind his statement. Dean was in the shower when Corey heard knocking on the door. He got up from the couch in his friend's townhouse and twisted the knob. As he opened the door, the man behind it got increasingly beautiful. He was Corey's height, with a little more meat on his bones in all the right places. He had very long chocolate brown hair and his eyes were slightly squinted. He had one earring in and semi-tan skin. "Hi," Corey pushed out. "Is Dean here by any chance," the man let out the question a bit confused. He had a subtle Southern accent. Corey pondered the question and the man leaned in for an answer. "Oh, yeah, he's in the shower," Corey claimed grabbing hold of the idea the man had of him and Dean. "I'm Corey, I'm Dean's coworker and friend." Corey wanted to know who this lovely specimen was. "Bo." He smiled lacklusterly and held out his hand. Corey shook it and immediately noticed how soft Bo's hands were. "Oh, Bo, okay. Dean's been wondering where you were." Corey told the man. "I told him I would be here at this time today when I brought him home last night." Bo said. "Hey," a voice said coming from behind Corey. Bo stepped forward into the home and came up to Dean. Dean was wearing nothing but his towel and Bo could feel the heat of the shower radiating off of him. "We need to talk."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Truth**

Bo had an unfamiliar anger in his voice. He grabbed Dean's wrist and led him to the the bedroom in the back of the home. "What?" Dean said with a smile. "Don't do that Dean. Don't smile at me. There's not a damn thing funny about this." Bo said still fuming in his anger. "What did you take last night?" Bo questioned rubbing his fingers through his hair. "I don't like Q and A, Bo," Dean said flopping down on the bed, exposing his muscular thigh through the towel. "Dean, stop. This is exactly why we will never have more than this. You play around too much." Bo said on the verge of tears. "Don't start those fucking tears, baby, look I'm sorry I ditched you last night and I'm sorry I got drunk. Happy?" Dean said waving his hands for emphasis. "Don't Dean, I've seen you drunk, this was something else. You were really mean last night. Everyone in the club wanted to fight you, so we left. You called me a difficult, selfish bitch. But I took you home anyway. What were you on last night? Just tell me." Bo pleaded with Dean and sat on the bed beside him. "Don't get mad at me?" Dean said asking more than stating. "I, uh, I was...high on cocaine last night and I'm sorry for what I said." Dean looked Bo directly in the eyes as he told him this. "Wow." Bo said. "Look, Bo, it'll never happen again, it's just that I hadn't been out in a long time and that's exactly why." Dean claimed. Bo didn't hear any of it as his eyes begin to overflow. "Have you done it before?" Bo asked as the first tear ran down his face. "Um, yeah." Dean said reflecting on the days that hurt him the most. "Why didn't you tell me this?" Bo yelled standing up. "I would have never brought you out if I knew you weren't ready." Bo continued to shout. Dean stood up as well. "Hey! Keep your fucking voice down. Since when do we tell each other anything, huh, Bo? The last time I checked I don't even know where you live. I don't know nothing about you. I don't know where you live, I don't know where you work, I hardly know when I can and can't call you and when I do you don't answer half the fucking time!" Dean screamed as he put his clothes on. Dean put his hands over his mouth and paced in front of the younger man. "I gotta go." Bo said. "No, Bo, I'm sorry," Dean said grabbing Bo's hand hard. "Dean, let me go." Bo cried. "We have to talk, Bo," Dean said pulling him close and grabbing his face between his thumb, index, and middle fingers. "Leave me alone." Bo struggled. "Why can't you just talk, Bo?" Dean said against Bo's ear. "Okay, w-what," Bo sobbed, "what do you wanna talk about," Bo choked a laugh out in an attempt to make the situation lighter. "Where do you live?" Dean asked lightening the grip on Bo's face. "Dean, I-I can't tell you that." Bo said nervously. Dean looked deep into Bo's brown eyes. He searched his lover's soul for answers. They were buried deep under lies he had told Dean. "You aren't worth any fuck I give you." Dean said and turned toward the bedroom door. "You know the way out." Dean finished as he walked out through the doorway. He met Corey's eyes in the living room and walked past him. "Let's go." Dean said without looking at Corey.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: ...To Make Up**

Lunch was awkward as Dean and Corey sat face to face, chewing and breathing. Corey figured that he would be the first to say anything no matter what, so he decided to get it over with. "So, uh, what happened?" Corey bit. "When, Core, what are you talking about?" Dean asked. Corey knew this Dean. Bottled up and cold. Sad and confused. Dean had such a funny way of showing emotion. "Dean you know what I'm talking about, so you can cut the bullshit." Corey said seriously. He had heard the arguing coming from the room. Dean was known around the bar they worked at as a hothead and frequently bragged about 'putting bitches in their place.' "Dean." He said catching the man's attention. "You didn't hit him, did you?" Corey asked all-knowing of the answer. "If I did I blacked it out. I grabbed his face. If I wanted to fucking punch him I would have. But I didn't. Look I'm done talking about Bo, I'm done with that. I wish I could take back the feelings I have for the kid but I can't because he's such a good fuck." Dean smiled maniacally and made Corey crack a smile. "Oh yeah? Scale of one to ten?" Corey asked curiously. Bo was young and hot and this interested Corey. "I'm not going to say I haven't had better but he's such a freak. At least a seven-and-a-half. His head game's vicious, though. He just needs a little more experience. Not from me, though. No. I'm done. Fuck that." Corey could tell by Dean's voice that there was more than just hot sex fueling his feelings for Bo. "You need me to hook you up with someone?" Corey asked. "I don't know. I'm kinda feeling like 'fuck guys' right now, so I think I'll just hit on Eva." Dean claimed. Eva was the fiery Latina woman Corey and Dean worked with at the bar. She was well liked by most guys, but her and Dean constantly flirted. They had had two one night stands before (of which one was strictly oral), and Dean thought of her as a friend. They were both wild and were always cited as lives of the party.*** The next day Dean woke up at nine o'clock due to his alarm clock that he had actually remembered to set. He immediately hopped in the shower. Dean couldn't stop thinking about Bo now that the water was running over him. It reminded him of him and Bo's first time. Bo had come over after meeting Dean at the bar he worked at. He was getting comfortable on Dean's bed when he decided he couldn't wait for the man to finish washing up. He stripped down to nothing and entered the bathroom. The words 'Can I help?' still rang in Dean's ears. The water rippled down his chiseled stomach as he remembered asking Bo if he was sure he wanted to do this. Dean hadn't even noticed that he had started stroking his member when he started thinking about Bo dropping to his knees letting the water wade over his hair. He grabbed Dean's dick and took the head in his mouth. Now, Dean was moaning in both scenarios. Bo's head bobbing up and down trying to accommodate Dean's nine inches was sending waves of pleasure through his body. "Mmmm," Dean moaned in fantasy. "You suck so good," he let Bo know how much he appreciated a good blow-job. Bo briefly let go of Dean's cock with a loud pop. "You're lucky," Bo said looking up at Dean. "I love sucking dick," with that comment Bo really went to town bobbing his head and swallowing Dean's cock whole. Dean grabbed his hair and rammed his well-shaven pubic hair into Bo's nose. The action made Bo moan into Dean's hard-on which made Dean throw his head back in unbelievable pleasure. Dean was putting a number in on his cock. He was moaning so loudly, he didn't hear Corey enter his house. His back was now up against the tile in the shower and he was thrusting up into his palm. He gasped sharply and let it go. Anger. Regret. Lust. Love. Every feeling he had towards Bo was out of him now...and all over his hand. Once he was dressed for work, it was ten o'clock. He came out into the living room and was shocked when he saw Corey sitting on his couch and watching his television. "What the hell," Dean's raspy voice made it's appearance first. "Waiting for you. It's already ten o' seven and I like to be early to clean off the bar stools." Corey said walking toward the door. Dean followed and Corey held the door for him. "By the way, I heard you in the shower," Corey laughed. "I wish my orgasms sounded that good." Corey finished, opening his car door. Dean was embarrassed at first instinct, but quickly realized it was nothing to freight over.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: The Red Light**

The Clubhouse was slow today, which particularly made Dean mad. "I could be at home, John!" He yelled to his boss, John Layfield, as he cleaned a beer mug with a towel. " Yeah and it sucks, because we're not even making any tips," Eva complained. "Definitely made more money stripping." Eva had been brought over from the bar's sister strip club, The Playhouse, and she was more than promising in her mixing skills, mostly because she learned from one of the bests, Dean. "Stop bitching, all of you," John yelled slightly. He then went to his back office for paperwork and scheduling. "I'm bored." Dean said. "We should totally do something tonight, Dean!" Eva said excitedly. "Yeah, did Dean tell you he's only fucking girls right now?" Corey smiled. "Ooo, am I top of the list or what?" Eva asking lustfully and squeezing her artificial breasts together with her arms. "Mmm, of course you are." Dean assured her. "What happened to that Asian guy you were into?" Eva asked while admiring her manicured nails. "Um, he was Native American, but...I'm not talking to him anymore." Dean said matter-of-factly. "Oh, why not, I loved you guys' sex stories." Eva cried and poked her lips out. "I won't disclose details right now, baby." Dean said as he moved her brightly dyed, red hair from her shoulder and kissed her pouty lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, just one that friends commonly shared. Later that day, after a slow day at the Clubhouse, Eva drove Dean home. Dean invited her in for shots and after several pleases and the promise to give her details on the breakup, she walked through the townhouse doors. Dean grabbed a fresh bottle of patron and two shot glasses. "Dean! I think it's cute how you grabbed glasses like we're classy or some shit," Eva smiled as Dean sat on the couch. "Now, spill." Eva said eagerly. "Don't get mad, okay?" Dean asked sincerely. "Throw it on me, baby." Eva said pouring a shot for the both of them. "Well, we went clubbing at some gay bar that Bo likes and uh,..." Dean started. "Did you end up taking some other guy home, player?" Eva inquired. "No, much worse. I may or may not have dropped him for some cocaine." Dean said closing his eyes. "Whoa, really?" Eva said half smiling. "Yeah, and it had to be some real Colombian shit, because I don't even remember anything that happened after that." Dean said smiling at Eva's smile. "So you fucked up and snorted a little coke again, so fucking what," Eva said defending her friend. "Apparently, I called him a difficult and selfish bitch and it hurt his damn feelings." Dean said moving his hands. "Well, Dean, that is a little far." Eva said holding her hands up. "Yeah I know. He's far from difficult. Easiest hoe I ever bagged." Dean laughed throwing back another shot. They had had six so far so Dean knew it couldn't have been the alcohol making Eva look so sexy to him. He moved closer. "I just feel so alone." He laughed. She smiled and put her arms around his neck. He kissed the corner of her mouth since her head was turned. She breathed out heavily and finally swung a leg to the other side of Dean, straddling him. Dean took her bottom lip in his and nipped at it. Plucking her bottom lip lightly in between his. She wanted more though. She went in hungrily and ate his lips. Dean tasted her red lipstick as she tongued him down. "Take your shirt off." She urged and Dean followed. His growing erection was getting worse with every slutty moan she released into his mouth. He moved her hands from his chest down to his belt buckle. "You want me to release you, baby?" Eva asked breathlessly. "Yeah," Dean gave throaty groan. She undid his belt and unzipped his pants. She moved to let him do the rest. She rested with her head on the arm of the couch. She spread her legs, moving her skirt up and revealing her thong to Dean. Dean removed his jeans and met her panties with his face. She had one hand groping one of her pierced nipples and the other between her legs. Dean grabbed her thighs and licked the sides of her panties. She moved her hand and Dean found her clit with his teeth. She moaned and arched her back. Dean took this as motivation and moved her wet panties to the side revealing her succulent lips. He licked up and tasted her sweet juice. He parted the lips with his fingers and sucked on her plump bundle of nerves. His cock was fully erect now. "Ride me," Dean said against her lips. He sat up and stroked his erection. She straddled him once again. She held his shoulders and lined herself up with him. Dean threw his head back as he slid into her wet heat. She moaned loudly. "God, you're so big Dean." She let out. Dean smiled at this. He was aroused although he knew she was exaggerating in a pornographic way. Once she started bouncing, Dean lost control. It reminded him of something. He gripped her hips and took control, thrusting up into her. Now he knew exactly what he was reminded of. In his mind it was Bo riding his cock. He thrusted harder and made Eva cry out. She loved it. A good fuck was just what she needed. "I'm gonna cum Dean," she exclaimed. Dean couldn't hear her. Bo was screaming and gasping for air. "Dean," they both called out. Eva was coming and so was Bo. Dean thrusted a few more times and opened his eyes into Eva's kiss. She leaned back on his thighs and he removed himself from her stretched heat. He was dripping with her juices. She dropped down in between his legs and tasted herself on the head of Dean's cock. Dean was growing increasingly sensitive as he rubbed his stomach. The sight if Eva's head bobbing on his member was enough as he removed her mouth. He pumped his cock on the side of her face and let out four thick spurts on her shoulder and the side of her face. He would have made her swallow it but she didn't like that. Bo did. Bo.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Sex On The Beach**

Bo closed his eyes squeezing out tears. The hand of the man on top came down over his mouth. "You like that?" The man said and Bo nodded his head accordingly. "You're so beautiful. You know that?" The man, John, asked heavily. Bo nodded his head hard and breathed in through his nose. His chest was on fire. He was being crushed by this man. He tried crying to himself but he was sobbing at this point. He didn't like it, but it made money. His boss, Dave, didn't care what happened in the hotel room just as long as he got more than half. "Why are you crying, what's wrong?" John finally stopped thrusting and looked at Bo's terrified face. "No, don't stop," Bo sniffled. "If you don't want this," John started. "No, please don't stop." Bo said trying sound as slutty as possible. He was surprised at John's concern. He had entered him without prep and was rather rough. He struck Bo as a rich, white guy trying to hide something from his wife. He knew nothing about having sex with another man and only sought his own pleasure. "I can't keep going if you're just going to cry," John told him. He got up from the bed and went into the bathroom closing the door behind him. Bo quickly dressed. "John please, no!" Bo ran over to the door and banged on it begging for entry. He knew John was relieving himself but Bo needed that money so bad. "Please, John, I'm sorry." Bo sobbed sliding down the door. It opened and Bo moved. John came out and started pulling his clothes on. Bo approached him and begged. "John, please, I'll do anything. You _have_ to pay me." Bo said desperately. "No I don't. I'll let Dave know how lousy a fuck you are." John claimed angrily. "Please. Don't." Bo looked on and gave him sad eyes. "All hoes are the same, I swear. You all have the most pathetic lives. I hope Dave beats the hell out of you." He said pushing Bo out of the door and into Dave. "How much did he pay you?" Dave asked as they walked down the hallway together. Bo kept quiet. "I don't want to do this anymore." Bo said. They stopped in the middle if the parking lot. He grabbed Bo around the neck. "Okay. Go." Dave said frustrated with his employee. "Stop." Bo said. He was quite frankly ashamed that this is what his life had come to. Getting beat up and being broken down. Sometimes he felt like nothing, but sometimes he didn't. Sometimes he just wanted to commit and settle down. At twenty-three he would have never guessed this is where he would have been. He almost had it. "You want me to stop, bitch?" Dave shouted and released Bo's throat. "What did you do?" Dave asked. Bo looked down with his heart beating fast. "You'd better fucking answer me, Bo." Dave pointed his finger in Bo's face. Bo sighed deeply. "He was hurting me." Bo finally said keeping his head down. "Leave. Hurry up and go." Dave said giving the kid a break. Bo shuffled his feet and quickly walked towards the road. He had a small idea on exactly where he was going. He had no definite home or any family in the area. He just couldn't live his life without seeing the rest of the world. He couldn't stay on any reservation any longer. It was bitterly cold outside. He just needed somewhere, anywhere to crash. Dean was ending his shift at the Clubhouse. He had decided to pick up a later shift. Usually he worked days, but lately spending long nights alone was really getting the best of him. "Ready to wrap it up, guys." John came in from his back office, boisterously. "Yeah!" Dean shouted. Him and another co-worker finished putting the bar stools on the counter. "You need a ride home, Dean?" Justin, his co-worker, asked. "Nah. I'll just walk home." Dean replied. "You sure?" Justin asked with a thick South African accent. "Yeah, it's totally cool. I'll walk."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Old Friends**

Dean walked slowly with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He wanted to take in the night. The moon was full and the night was cold. It reminded Dean of the past. The nights where he would roam the streets and loan Brian out for food and cocaine. Brian. It had been a very long time since that name crossed his mind. All those overdoses and cold showers later and the name still brought comfort, warmth, and many other feelings. Before Dean knew it he was on that side of town again. He had to admit, he felt alive. It was exhilarating and dangerous. Forbidden fruit always left Dean wanting a taste. Who was he staying clean for anyway? No. He couldn't do it. He decided to move along. He forgot how long the walk was from work to home, but it was nice. He walked past all the crack houses that were all too familiar. Tens of men with bad teeth and beers in hand and Dean remembered those days. Just as he was thinking about his last good high, he heard the most familiar laugh. He couldn't pinpoint where or when he last heard this laugh. Dean looked all around and only met peculiar faces that he didn't know. He noticed all the junkies laughing with their eyes rolling into the back of their heads. He noticed one whose actions were reminiscent of someone on ecstasy. 'Amateurs,' Dean thought to himself. Then there was that laugh again. It was definitely coming from this porch. Dean ventured closer. He walked up a couple of steps before the slow reactions of the addicts caught up to him. "Hey. Who are you?" One said slurry. "I'm Dean. It's the weirdest thing. I-" Dean laughed. "I thought I knew someone over here." Just as he released the last few words he heard a disgustingly loud pop. He knew that sound. He looked down on the man on or in ecstasy. A dirty face looked up at him and the man stood up. Dean's heart sank. "Hi, Dean," the voice started. Brian. The man he was just thinking about was now here and in the flesh. He was disgusted. "Brian. What..." Dean couldn't ask because he knew the answer was too hurtful. Brian scratched rather clawed at his arms. Brian turned from Dean's deep blue eyes and back to the man in front of him. "So, can I have it now?" He asked embarrassed. The man pulled out a small baggie filled with a familiar white substance and handed it to Brian. Brian hardly had it in his hand when Dean had finally seen enough. He grabbed Brian's arm and pulled him down the steps. He pushed him in front of himself and urged him to keep walking. "Go, Brian," Dean said persistently. "Dean, you're not my dad. Okay? You don't get to tell me what to do anymore." Brian slurred. They walked. Brian didn't know where he was going, but every time he tried steering away, Dean guided him. "Where are you taking me?" Brian asked warily. "My house. Brian, why were you doing that?" Dean asked stopping and turning Brian towards him. "What?" Brian asked legitimately confused. "You're pathetic." Dean said beginning to walk again until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Is this not what you wanted for me, Dean?" Dean turned around and looked down at Brian. He stood there with his cat slash Cobain-like features. He was five foot eight and had a small frame. A bit muscular but not much. Big cat-like eyes and pouty lips. His hair was to his shoulders and dark at the roots. "What are you talking about?" Dean finally questioned after taking in Brian's tear-stained cheeks. "All those times I used to do that for you. It sucks now that you can't, or oops, won't have any of this." He said waving the baggy in Dean's face. "I do that a lot Dean. But that's not new, is it? You used to make me do it all the time. Why are you so selfish?" Brian asked looking up at the eight inches between them meeting Dean's blue pools. "I'm..." Dean tried but the words cut like a knife because they were true. He started walking away and there was that hand again. "Okay you don't have to answer that one, but..." Brian wasn't sure on how to word the next question. "Why didn't I get any help?" He looked down with Dean's back still turned to him and he sniffled. "How come you didn't come back for me?" Dean heard the heaving in Brian's voice and it made him whip around. He said nothing, but pulled the smaller man in an held him tightly. Brian wanted to resist, but the hug was pure nostalgia. He inhaled Dean manly scent. "Come home with me?" Dean asked. He didn't necessarily want to have sex with Brian. He just wanted to be there for him. ***"It's really warm in here." Brian said once they sat down on the couch in Dean's townhouse. Dean had given him a shower, a pair of sweatpants, and a t-shirt. "Thanks?" Dean questioned. Brian laughed wholeheartedly. "It's a good thing. I'm cold." He said brushing his hair out of his face. Dean was taken aback by his beauty. "How have you been?" Dean asked. "Uh, same old shit. You know. Surviving." Brian said looking Dean in the eyes. He kicked his shoes off and brought his knees to his chin. "How about you?" Brian asked. "What do you want me to say? Sober." Dean said. They both laughed and Dean was glad Brian received it as a joke. They caught up for a good thirty minutes. "Can I ask you something, Dean?" Brian said. He turned his body towards Dean and put his feet under Dean's thigh. "Shoot." Dean insisted. "How are sober relationships?" Brian asked intrigued. "I don't know how to answer that. Good, I guess. A lot more still and comprehensible." Dean laughed. Brian turned his head on his knees. "I guess I mean...how is sober sex?" Brian asked looking back at Dean. Dean gave a nervous chuckle and sighed. "Remember, like all the times we would take X or coke before we fucked?" Dean smiled. "Yeah. Like every time. And we fucked a lot." Brian said being rewarded with a laugh from Dean. "Well, I mean, sober sex can feel like that too. With the right person." Dean wanted to move closer to Brian at this point. "You've had the right person?" Brian asked. "Sort of. Or so I thought." Dean looked down and suddenly felt a clammy hand under his chin. He looked up and met Brian eyes. "Can you kiss me again, Dean? Just so I know this is real." Brian said justifying his words. Dean didn't need to be asked twice. He leaned in and sucked in Brian's bottom lip, letting it go smoothly. He did the same with the top and then pressed their lips together firmly. Their heads twisted and turned for a minute and a half before Brian let out his first moan. Dean turned his head against his lips. "Please, Dean." Brian said desperately. "I need you to make love to me." Brian held on to the word 'need' tightly. He knew it had been so long since he had been loved and he was hoping Dean picked that up too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: New Experiences**

Dean didn't want to have sex with Brian out of pity. Even though he knew there were true feelings behind their relationship, most of it was fueled by booze and cocaine. "I don't..." Dean started. Brian quickly put a finger up to Dean's swollen lips. "Shhh. Just say 'yes'," Brian begged. "please." He finished. "I..." Dean continued. He looked deeper into Brian's eyes and he could see a longing. "I think we should go to the bedroom." Dean said as he stood up. Brian stood and laced his fingers with Dean's. Dean led the way. Once in the room the both of them took no time undressing. Brian laid on his back and let Dean fall on top of him. "Dean, I missed you so much," Brian let out a breathy sentence as Dean continued to suck and lightly bite his collar bone. Dean wanted to tell Brian he missed him too, but it wouldn't come out. Since him and Brian broke up, Dean had loved one other person as deeply as he loved Brian. He had had a love as deep as this one. All Dean could do was let out grunts. Brian grabbed the back of Dean's head and pulled him up. He didn't kiss him. He just stared. He was trying to relay a message. Dean stared on in amazement. He had forgotten how gorgeous Brian actually was. His skin was soft under Dean's and his hands sent shivers down Dean's spine. "I missed you, too," Dean looked on intensely. Brian kissed Dean as if he were waiting for the response. He arched his back and let his crotch grind against Dean's. Dean fell into the crook of Brian's neck. "You like that?" Brian asked lustfully. "Yeah." Dean whispered. Brian wrapped his short legs around Dean's waist, bringing them closer. Brian threw his head back as Dean worked his way down to his erect nipples. Teasing and biting each one gently. He worked his way down, kissing and sucking at the supple skin of the other man. He got to his stomach and spent time worshipping it. He took up skin in his mouth and released it quickly and watched as it snapped back into place. Brian soon after let his thighs rest on Dean's shoulders. Dean knew what he wanted. He began to kiss his thighs. Occasionally looking up to see Brian's eyes in the back of his head. He was breathing heavily and was letting out small, less than masculine moans. Brian felt the warmth of Dean's breath touch his scrotum and knew he was getting closer. Brian arched his back and let out something relative to a cry when Dean's hot tongue first touched his opening. Dean licked and flicked his tongue, adding breathy sounds for effect. He couldn't help but to slip a digit into the tempting entrance. Brian gasped sharply. He lapped at the area around his forefinger. He slowly slid his finger out, leaving Brian hungry for more. He continued his rim-job and darted his tongue in and out of Brian's heat. Dean's cock was leaking at this point. He wanted some relief. He sat up on his knees letting Brian's legs fall off of his shoulders. Brian sat up against the headboard and flipped his blonde hair to one side of his face. Dean coated his cock in his own fluid and worked his way towards Brian. Brian grabbed Dean's hips and looked up at his once distant memory. Dean wasted no time shoving himself into his lover's willing mouth. He took the head in first and worked the shaft. he kissed all nine inches of the very erect cock in front of him. He took the head back into his mouth and felt the clear liquid cover his tongue. He swallowed and started to tease the head again lusting for the same result. Dean had had enough. He grabbed the back of Brian's head a shoved his cock to the back of his throat. "Fuck," Dean let out. Brian relaxed his jaw and took Dean down his throat. Dean's cock was pouring precum into Brian's throat and he wanted every drop inside of him. Brian occasionally looked up to catch Dean in the middle ecstasy. Brian pulled Dean's cock out of his hot mouth with a twist and looked up at the man. He got up on his knees to meet Dean's hazy eyes. "Fuck me, Dean," Brian let out. "You want me to fuck you?" Dean asked knowing the answer. Brian nodded his head and grabbed Dean's hands. He guided them. Running them over his ass cheeks, throwing his head back every time Dean's hands brushed the crack. Dean soon after took control of his hands. He rubbed and spanked at Brian's full, perky ass. He brought his fingers up to Brian's mouth and Brian knew what to do with them. He looked at Dean as he opened his mouth and wet the two large fingers. Dean thought his fingers looked extremely large in Brian's very tiny mouth and it turned him on. Dean took his glistening fingers out of Brian's mouth and brought them down to their new home. Brian rested his head on Dean's shoulder as soon as Dean pushed into him. He let out a soft moan and kissed Dean's neck. He sucked the tender skin as Dean's fingers entered and left his hole several times. "Turn around," Dean groaned against Brian's ear. Brian slowly but surely turned around, still on his knees. Dean took the opportunity to give his lover what he really wanted. He pushed Brian down onto the bed and arched his back for him. "I know you like that rough shit," Dean grunted. All Brian could do was moan with his hard cock and memories of the good old days. They were a lot rougher than this. Dean grabbed a handful of Brian's hair and held his cock at the base. He wanted to feel every inch sliding inside of Brian and he did just that. Dean slowed when he was halfway in and brought himself out until just the tip impaled Brian. Dean held this position. He looked down at the tight muscle being stretched due to him and it made him smile. To see his old love in a familiar position turned him on beyond words. Brian got bored of the love of it all. He just wanted to fuck at this point. He took the opportunity to back up onto Dean's cock. He knew Dean would like it and it satisfied him too. He did this repeatedly, trying to find that certain sensation to send him over the edge. Dean instinctively realized what Brian was doing. He pulled Brian head back making his back arch up. And there it was. Brian let out the biggest moan he had in his small body. "Right there, Dean," Brian cried letting the larger man take over. Dean thrusted into him fully, with a deep and hard penetration. "Say my name." Dean told Brian as he continued to pound the full ass of his once lost lover. "Dean. Mmm Dean, fuck me good Dean." Brian cried as Dean continued hitting the jackpot inside of him and Brian's cock began to overflow. Brian began to stroke the hard-on only to have his hand swatted away by the larger man. Dean now had one hand stroking Brian's cock and the other one on the man's fleshy hip. Dean was overwhelmed with the feeling of pleasure he was receiving from Brian's tight hole. He wasn't sure which of them would cum first, but he knew a sure-fire way to make sure it wasn't him. He slowed down his thrusts and brought Brian up to his chest. Brian could almost feel Dean in his gut and he was ready to cum for him. Dean gave him short powerful thrusts. Dean knew he was hitting the spot, because the once loud expressions of pleasure were now silent whimpers. Dean continued to stroke Brian's seven inches and as soon as Brian rested his head on Dean's shoulder and let his eyes roll back, Dean smiled. He continued to stroke him even after feeling the hot liquid between his palm and Brian's cock. Brian let him know he approved by reaching up and bringing Dean's head down next to his. Dean kept penetrating, stopping frequently to feel Brian's tight ring pulsating around his cock. Dean was so close. Brian loved the sensation of being overworked. Dean was still pounding away even after the man had cum. Brian soon felt a hot, almost burning sensation close to his gut and smiled the biggest smile he had through his messy strands of blonde hair. Dean let out hoarse gasps for air as he finished coming down from this new high. He pulled his drained cock out of Brian's stretched hole and fell to the pillows at the top of the bed. Brian laid with his head on his new addiction's chest and threw his leg over him. The two drifted to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Break Of Dawn**

Dean didn't realize how late...or early it was when he heard knocking on his door. He tried getting up, but had soon realized that last night wasn't all a dream. Brian was actually laying there on his chest. Dean lifted his pretty little head and laid it back down gently. He got out of bed to tend to the knocking. It was three-forty-four in the morning and Dean wasn't sure who could possibly be up this late...or early. Unless Brian was on the run. He twisted the doorknob and was surprised, to say the least, to see who was standing behind it. Bo looked on at Dean with tears in his eyes. "Can I please come in Dean?" Bo started. "I'm really sorry for waking you up, but I just," Bo continued as tears began to stream down his tan face. "Come here." Dean said holding his arms out to Bo. Bo took him up on this offer and fell into Dean's embrace in the warm home. Dean stroked the long, chocolate brown hair and began to speak. "Shhh. Tell me what happened." Dean pulled Bo off of him and looked into the man's dark eyes. Bo shook free from Dean's grip and walked towards the couch. Dean sighed into the air and moved forward, shuffling his tired feet. Bo sat down and brought his knees to his chin. "Why are you holding back?" Dean said as he sat down beside Bo. "I mean, look at this, you come knocking on my door at four o'clock in the fucking morning," Dean started. "Dean please don't yell at me." Bo said low in his throat. "No, Bo, no, you come here and you're bawling your fucking eyes out. On top of all this shit, on top of all of that, you don't want to tell me what your fucking problem is." Dean stopped caring about his neighbors, Bo's feelings, and Brian's sleeping. "I'm not ready Dean. Okay? I didn't have anywhere else to go. So I came here. All I want to do is get some sleep on this couch and leave tomorrow." Bo cried. He wanted to make his point clear. He had actually come to Dean to confess so that he could feel comfort in the arms of the man he loves again. Towards the end if their 'relationship', they were quite hostile towards one another. Dean wanted to know everything about Bo. Things Bo didn't even know about himself. Like where he worked. What was Bo supposed to say...any motel in walking distance? "Leave? Where are you going, Bo? Where do you live?" Dean said putting a hand in Bo's shoulder. Bo quickly shook it off, feeling disgusted that Dean couldn't understand his keeping of secrets. "I'm going back to Florida." Bo said quietly. Bo had told Dean about the Seminole reservation in Florida he grew up on. He told Dean how happy he was to be away from that and how he loved finally feeling free. "You're gonna live on that reservation?" Dean asked. "Yeah." Bo looked down he was finally ready to say everything that was causing thick tension between them. He was ready to tell Dean that he had come to Vegas with no money and a dream. He had to fight off horny older men and fuck his way to his next meal. He was so ready to do this for himself _and_ for Dean. He breathed out heavily. "Dean," Bo felt as though his voice was amplified past what his vocal cords actually produced. And then he saw him. The short and stocky blonde stood there wearing a Bob Dylan t-shirt Bo had bought for Dean. He was rubbing his eye and yawning, reminding Bo of a child waken by the arguing of parents. Dean whipped his head around and stared at Brian. "What, baby?" Dean saying those words sealed the deal for Bo. He felt his heart being ripped out of his chest. Just barely a week had passed and Dean was quick to call someone else 'baby'. Dean turned his head back around to Bo. "What were you going to say?" Dean questioned. Bo didn't have to tell him anything now. There was no love to be won back, because Dean had given it away again. "Can I have a blanket?" Bo said lowering his eyes from Dean's. "Yeah, but I mean, Bo, you don't have to leave tomorrow," Dean said running his hand over Bo's silky hair. Bo didn't move. "If you want to stay here, you can. I don't care. Just because we're not dating doesn't mean we can't be friends." Dean said sincerely. Bo loved this side of Dean. Gentle, kind, and warm. "Thanks. I'll think about Florida tomorrow but I'm really tired." Bo said. He wanted to take Dean up on his offer of shelter, but he knew it wouldn't be long before he needed money again. "I'll get you that blanket." Dean said walking towards the bedroom. Brian followed him like a lost puppy. "Who is that?" Brian said inquisitively. "He's my ex," Dean said coolly and grabbed a thick blanket from his closet. "Oh," Brian said almost approvingly. "He's pretty." Brian concluded. "Thanks?" Dean said standing in front of him. "It's a compliment, go give him the stupid blanket." Brian laughed pushing Dean toward the doorway. When Dean had left Brian took the long Dylan t-shirt off and crawled into bed. Dean came back in and did the same, removing his shorts and cuddling up next to his lover. "Did you tuck him in?" Brian smiled and closed his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: After The Storm**

Dean woke up at ten-thirteen to Brian's smiling face. "I've been waiting for you to wake up." Brian whispered. "So you've been watching me sleep," Dean smiled and got out of bed. "You make it sound so creepy." Brian laughed and followed Dean to the shower. "It is creepy. Fucking creeper." Dean smiled and grabbed Brian's waist. He pecked his pouty lips and ruffled his blonde locks. "How long does it usually take?" Dean said as he turned on the water for them. "What?" Brian asked highly confused. Dean turned back around to him and looked him in the eyes. "How long until you need another fix?" The thought had never crossed Brian's mind. "I don't know. It usually depends on how good the shit was that I last snorted. You know how it works Dean." Brian said stepping into the shower. "Are you feeling anything? Any withdrawal?" Dean said. "Not right now," Brian claimed as he lathered his body. Dean had forgotten how rough the symptoms could be and although he wanted to help Brian get over his addiction to cocaine, he didn't think he could handle seeing Brian that sick. "You have coke here, right?" Dean asked. "Yeah, why?" Brian asked. "If you want to get over this, can I pour it down the sink?" Dean asked in all seriousness. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, baby," Brian claimed. Now that Dean was even mentioning the drug made Brian itch for it. The only high that came close to the feeling of cocaine flowing through his brain was the feeling of being completely sober and in ecstasy at the same time with Dean. Brian sighed deeply. "I just don't want to leave you, Dean. I don't want you to think I'm just some junkie and throw me out on the streets. Last night was..." Brian paused searching for words to describe exactly what he felt last night. There were none. He looked up at the space in between him and Dean. "I want you to help me. Whatever you have to do." Brian said as he washed the soap off of his petite frame and stepped out of the shower. Dean put his hands on the tiles and let the water run over his head. Brian dried himself and stepped back into the sweatpants he wore last night and brushed his hair back through his fingers. He looked up and jumped. "You scared me," Brian said smiling. "I just wanted to give this blanket back." Bo said holding out the neatly folded bedding. Brian grabbed it. He stood on his tippy toes and put it on the shelf he had seen Dean take it off of early this morning. "I'm Brian, by the way." Brian said smiling. Bo had to admit: Brian was cute. "I'm Bo." Bo returned making an effort to smile back. "I told Dean you were pretty last night," Bo didn't know exactly what to say after this as he looked down at the smaller man. "Thanks," Bo started. "It's a compliment, really." Brian assured. "No, it not that it's just..." Bo thought on this. He had been called 'pretty' so many times since he moved to Vegas. What was weird was that it had never been by an ex's new boyfriend. Dean came out of the door leading to the bathroom and entered the room. He was wearing nothing but a towel. "Hey," Dean said softly as he squeezed through Bo and Brian and between the open closet doors. "You two gettin' along?" Dean asked without making eye contact. "Yeah." Bo said happily smiling at Brian. He was glad that Dean was in a playful mood. It took him away from all the questions Dean would have been asking. "Don't get along _too_ well," Dean said laughing and throwing his t-shirt and basketball shorts down on the bed. He made his way to the dresser and pulled out a pair of dark blue boxer briefs. He tried to stay classy and began to slide them up his thighs with his towel on. "Dean, I'm pretty sure we've both seen you naked." Bo said as he smiled. Dean chuckled and untucked the fabric holding the towel up. Bo's heart raced as the towel fell over Dean's soft cock. What he would do to put his lips around it just one more time. He glared onward until the blue of the boxer briefs snapped him back into reality. Dean put the rest of his clothes on and walked over to Brian grabbing his hips and pulling him in. Brian gasped at the surprise touch. "What?" Brian asked. Dean said nothing as he reached into both of Brian's pockets. He pulled out the baggy and concealed it in his fist. He continued his silence as he walked into the bathroom. Brian heard the flush of the toilet and looked down at his feet. Dean reentered the room and walked past both men and out of the bedroom door. "Okay," Bo drew out as they both stepped out of the room. Dean was in the kitchen pulling out leftover spaghetti he and Eva had made a couple nights ago. He grabbed a fork and dug in. "Ew, Dean. Cold spaghetti?" Brian asked. "It's good, here try it." Dean said with his mouth full. He held out the fork and put it to Brian's mouth. "I'm not a baby. You don't have to feed me." Brian said snidely. He grabbed the fork and put it in his mouth. It was pretty good, unless it was just his hunger taking over. "Isn't it good?" Dean asked taking the fork back. "Yes," Brian said unwillingly, not wanting to let Dean be right. Soon after Bo grabbed a fork and had at it. After they'd finished the entire pan, Dean wanted to talk to Bo. Mostly to get him to stay with him out of concern for the other man, but somewhat to selfishly get answers out of him. He called Bo into the living room and Brian went into the bedroom. They sat down on the couch and stared at each other for a while. Finally Bo broke the silence. "So, what do you want to talk about," Bo said unenthusiastically. "Nothing. Well, I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. You can stay as long as you need to, you know." Dean said with sincerity. "I don't know Dean, I don't want to screw things up, you got something new going on and I..." Bo said before Dean interrupted. "New. Brian. Bo, I'm not exactly dating Brian. I just want to help him. We used to be a thing back when I was struggling with my addiction. I saw Brian last night and he needed me. I just feel so guilty helping myself and not helping him." Dean told Bo. "I can help you too." Dean added. Bo didn't necessarily think he needed Dean's help with anything, but just the thought of being close to him made Bo happy. Bo sighed and gave in. "Okay." He said. "Okay. But first you gotta tell me what's wrong." Dean said looking deep into Bo's eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: All Falls Down**

Bo stared at Dean and felt a lump forming in his throat. He knew he had to let it go, but his nerves were really strong at this point. "Um. Just promise me...you won't be mad." Bo started. "I won't be mad, Bo," Dean said encouragingly. Bo looked at him and urged. "I promise." Dean added nervously. "When I came here from Florida, I didn't have but five bucks in my pocket." Bo started, pausing to let Dean soak the information in. "I was tired and hungry, but I didn't want to go home. And I couldn't. I had only had a one way ticket and like I said I was broke." Bo said easing into the conversation. He was getting comfortable. Dean was nervous as he told the story. He foresaw that it could only get worse. "I met this guy at the bus station. He was standing there smoking a cigarette, so I asked for a light. He gave me one and he went on about noticing my Southern accent and I told him about my reservation. He asked me why I left and I told him they didn't accept my lifestyle. Then, it was like he relaxed a little bit. He told me how pretty I was over and over again, like he was examining me." Bo continued and Dean could hear the angst begin to rise in his voice. "He took me to a hotel and there were other people there. I had some drinks and the next thing I knew was that I was naked and in bed with him. And when I went to put my pants on there was five hundred bucks in them." Bo began to feel dizzy as he told Dean this. "Dave was a pimp, Dean. The other people were Johns and other workers. Um, whores." Bo said looking down feeling ashamed. "Don't say that, Bo." Dean put his hand on Bo's shoulder. "No, Dean it's true I'm a whore. I don't know any other way to say it. I had made enough money to stop doing it, but it was never that easy. I got greedy sometimes, and when I wasn't Dave hit me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even have enough sense to leave. I'm so stupid." Bo words trailed off as he went into sobbing. Dean came close and held him. "No, don't cry," Dean said. He started thinking back over it and it all made sense. Bo lived either with his pimp, or spent a night in a hotel room. Las Vegas pimps were known to leave their workers high and dry with no money. That was why Dean could never call and the fact that Dave was probably monitoring his calls anyway. Then he started to think about all of the arguments they had gotten into over these minuscule elements. Leading Dean to think about choking Bo and pushing him. Pinning him against the wall. Even slapping him. "Bo, I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Dean said into Bo's hair. He let Bo cry into the crook of his neck. Dean heard a faint sound. A flushing. "I'm gonna go check on Brian." Dean could feel that something wasn't right; even with a flush. "Brian. What's wrong?" He said onward with Brian's back turned to him. "I-I I don't know, I just got nauseous. That's it. I barfed." Brian admitted staring down at his feet. "It's okay. You thirsty? You need water?" Dean asked as he grabbed Brian and pulled him to his chest. "No Dean, I need drugs." He said yanking his small body away from Dean's strong chest. "I can't do this Dean! Maybe...maybe I'm not as strong as you are." Brian said glancing back down before Dean's firm grip cupped his chin and tilted his head back. "Stop, Bry. You're right, you're not as strong as I am. You're stronger." Dean said bringing his lips down to Brian's. He hovered over them and stared into Brian's soul. Then, he turned and walked away. Leaving Brian to dream about Dean's soft lips touching his.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven: Sick Day**

Brian sat alone in a padded room. Locked away from all feelings. His eyes could hardly open to the white walls but the corner comforted him. He shivered and trembled and wished he would die already. It had been two days since he felt anything. He had been throwing up every time he tried to eat. The itching was the worst of it all. It was like someone had put magnetic bugs under his skin and held the polar opposite over him to watch them squirm around. Some hours, he was alive and talking to Dean and Bo and the next, just like that, he was dead and waiting for his corpse to rot. "Bry, you have to eat." He heard Dean's voice from the distance. "Brian? Brian." Dean yelled brushing Brian's hair with his hand. "Mmmm." Moaning was all Brian could do. "Talk to me, Bry, c'mon." Dean said carrying the limp body to the bathroom. Brian could feel the cold water from the shower pulsating against his face and then there was nothing. He woke up to the smell of a burning cigarette. His heart felt like it was barely beating. "You should have let me die, Dean." Brian said the words so quietly he could have sworn he had thought them. The only indicator of vocality was Dean snapping his head around to Brian. "Brian, baby, are you okay?" Dean asked sincerely. "No, you should have let me die." Brian said gazing onward. "Stop, Brian," Dean said moving upward onto the bed with a fresh cigarette in hand. He put it in Brian's parted lips and lit it. "You know, I can't take this, Dean. It hurts!" Brian yelled letting the smoke from the first drag fly out of his mouth. "I know. Look once you get past this, that's it." Dean said looking at Brian with sad blue eyes. "No Dean, that's not it. Because next comes cravings. I want some now, so I can't imagine what it'll be like two days from now. You should have let me die. I was right there, Dean. I saw Him, I swear to God, I saw Him." Brian said on the verge of tears as he took another drag. "You're telling me you saw God?" Dean said in disbelief. Brian laughed. "God? No. I saw Satan, Dean. I'm going straight to Hell." Brian took a drag and waved the cigarette in Dean's face. "Here. I'm all better now. You can have this cigarette. I know you like butts." Brian said lying down and snuggling up under the covers. Dean took the cigarette and put it out in the ashtray next to his bed. He was still in shock. He wasn't sure on how to start back up conversation. "You saw Satan?" Dean said. "Yes, Dean," Brian said annoyed. "He wanted me to go with Him." Brian said secretly smiling, knowing that was where he belonged. "How could you possibly know it was Him?" Dean said trying to compute in his mind. "I don't know. I could just feel...just evil radiating off of Him. He had a glow and I reached out to touch his hand, but then my heart started beating. I watched you, Dean. You were scared. I wasn't. I watched myself. I wanted to finish me off, but I didn't want to see you cry. But, Dean, you have Bo. You guys are perfect for each other. I'm toxic. I'm like..." Brian let out a sigh. "You should've let me die." Brian concluded. "Well, how do you know you're not dead? This could be Hell, couldn't it?" Dean smiled. "No. I'm here. In a bed. With you. And we can do anything we want right now. I mean, maybe, people fuck each others brains out in Hell, but you wouldn't be there." Brian laughed feeling a familiar urge. He had life in him at once. "I might be. I'm thinking some pretty dirty things about you right now." Dean smiled. Brian fingered Dean's hair. "I know you're a good boy, Dean." Brian whispered. "You just love to do naughty things to me. But you know why I'm the one who's going to Hell?" Brian asked seductively. "Why is that?" Dean said marveling over the feelings in his shorts that Brian was giving him under the covers. "Because I like it." Brian finished. "I want to do bad things to you, Dean." Brian whispered. "Yeah," Dean moaned as his cock leaked through his shorts. "Mmm. Do you like that?" Brian said innocently. "Hell yeah," Dean said trying to push his shorts down. "No. Let me do it." Brian wanted full control. He dived under the covers and Dean felt his shorts slide down. He kicked them off and looked down to watch Brian's head bobbing. He wanted to thrust up and down Brian's throat but he knew Brian needed this. He needed control. Brian let go of Dean's full erection and got up. He undressed and grabbed the lube and a condom. This surprised Dean. They hadn't used one the first night Brian came back. "I wanna make you feel good, Dean. But you have to be quiet. Don't even move, okay?" Brian said. Brian worked the lube around his hole as he straddled Dean. He wanted Dean to watch as his small fingers entered and re entered himself over and over again. Dean wanted to grab a cheek or spank Brian. But he didn't. Brian aligned himself and gasped loudly as the tip penetrated his tight entrance. Dean couldn't help but to place his hands on Brian's hips and slowly force him down. Brian gave in and placed his lubed hands on Dean's chest. He looked down and started to rock his hips. He worked in all nine inches and stared at Dean. Dean was in Heaven. Pure Heaven as he watched his lover bounce on top of him. Dean needed something more. He grabbed Brian's hips and slowed him down. He let Brian arch his back and grind against him. Dean brought his feet up under him and lifted his hips. He found the spot and watched Brian's head snap back and the furrowing of his brow. Dean thrusted into Brian and watched as flames danced in his eyes. Brian was letting out moan after moan as Dean felt his ball-sack filling up. He had a lot to give. The rest of the world was dead around them as Brian's loud moans, Dean's subtle grunts, and the slapping of Dean's hips against Brian's cheeks took over. Brian's seven inches leaked as Dean hit the spot over and over and over again. "Dean, I'm gonna cum." Brian said, hoarse from his loud moaning. He continued as he rubbed his cock and Dean touch his cock to Brian's blissful nerves. He let out three large, earth-shattering spurts of the hot, white liquid. It was all over Dean's chest and it looked so appetizing. Brian leaned over and kissed Dean's mouth as his hole pulsated on Dean's erection. He moved down slowly and lapped at Dean's chest. "Slut." Dean whispered. "Wanna taste?" Brian didn't wait for an answer. He started tonguing Dean's mouth. "Who's the slut, now?" Brian smiled. Dean enjoyed the kiss but he still hadn't cum. He flipped Brian over onto his back and removed his condom. He kneeled over Brian's face and jerked himself. "Mmm, cum for me Dean. Please, cum for me." Brian moaned whorishly. Dean felt his balls tighten into his body. He grabbed Brian's mouth with a firm grip and released his seed. Partially on Brian's face, but mostly straight down his throat. When he was done, Brian closed his mouth and swallowed. Dean laid down next to him and Brian got up and went into the bathroom. Dean heard the door lock. He wanted to check on Bo.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Green Eyes**

Bo finally didn't hear them anymore. He removed the pillow over his face and noticed his growing erection. "Dammit," Bo whispered. Dean didn't bother putting any clothes on, or cleaning himself up for that matter. "Bo," Dean called. Bo quickly put the pillow over his sweatpants. "Yeah," he called back. "Whatcha doin," Dean asked. "Nothing. Just trying to sleep." Bo smiled as Dean sat down on the couch. "You didn't hear us, did you?" Dean said smiling secretly. "Hear what, did you guys...no. I didn't hear anything." Bo lied. "Really? Why do you have a pillow over your crotch like your mom just walked in the room while you were jerking off?" Dean put on a big smile. "I wasn't jerking off. I did hear you guys, though." Bo said smiling back. "Did it sound like good sex? Because it was good sex." Dean laughed. "Yeah it sounded great. It gave me a hard-on." Bo said removing the pillow from his waist. "Thanks." Dean said smiling and openly trying to sneak a glance. "Brian must be feeling better." Bo said in concern. It had been just three days since Brian and him had met, but Bo felt a connection. He wasn't jealous of Brian and he felt compassion for Brian's addiction. "What, oh yeah. Well, he may have almost died today, but...almost. He's fine now anyway." Dean said looking into Bo's squinted, dark brown eyes. "Dean," Bo said grabbing Dean's face. "Yeah..." Dean said before feeling small, cold hands grasping and pulling at his bicep. "Round two." Brian said casually. Bo looked up at the half-dead shell. Bo quickly released Dean's face from his grip. "C'mon Dean." Brian said whiningly. Dean stood up without taking his glance from Bo's soulful eyes. "Go," Bo said glancing back and forth at Dean and Brian. "I'll be here, rubbing one out." Bo smiled. Dean chuckled and let Brian's cold hand guide him. It didn't take but fifteen minutes for both men to climax. Dean rolled off of Brian and lit a cigarette for them to share. "You can go ahead, now. I'm done." Brian said frigidly. "Go where, Bry, this is my room." Dean said smiling and wondering what Brian meant. Brian turned to Dean. "You can go and make out with Bo if you want. I don't care." Brian could feel his sentences becoming more and more bitter and cold-hearted, but for some reason he couldn't stop. "Why would I want to go make out with Bo? We're not together." Dean said furrowing his brow and becoming increasingly annoyed by Brian's hurtful tone. "Neither are we." Brian said. Then there was silence. They let the smoke of the cigarette, that now solely belonged to Dean, fill the air. "Is that what your attitude is about?" Dean asked into the air. "What?" Brian snarled. "Why did you make me wear a condom?" Dean said. "Oh. You're mad because I want to have protected sex." Brian smiled sinfully. "Since when is that something to cry about?" Brian finished. "Since when are you a high class whore." Dean said reaching his limit. "You've been acting like a real bitch lately, Brian." Dean snapped. "Oh, really Dean? I've been acting like a bitch. You were just bitching because I don't want whatever that...that whore has." Brian wanted to keep his voice down, but he couldn't control it. "I haven't had sex with Bo since he's been here. If anyone of you has anything, it would be you. I bet the last three days have been tough, while you're not turning tricks for a fix." As soon as Dean finished his sentence he felt a stinging pain in his right cheek. It took him a few seconds to register that Brian had slapped his face. Dean was infuriated. He didn't want to do this after he found out what Bo had been through, but old demons told him that he had to teach Brian just who was in charge. Brian lay with his back to the nightstand facing Dean, propping his head on his hand. He stared, almost waiting for Dean to retaliate. He got what he wished for. Dean leaped up from under the covers. He wrapped his hands around Brian's throat making him fall backward into the nightstand. Brian hit his head on the stand and immediately felt the bruising and swelling. Dean tightened his grip around Brian's neck and stared down at his cold lover hoping to convey a message. Looking at Brian, Dean noticed that Brian was holding his breath. He quickly released his grip on the smaller man's throat.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen: Kill Me**

"Don't stop, c'mon." Brian struggled to his feet with tear stained cheeks. "Bry, stop it." Dean said turning his back to the small man and pulling out another cigarette. "No, Dean. Please." Brian sobbed. "Why can't you just put me out of my fucking misery, Dean? I'm nothing to you, okay? Just put you hands around my neck and end it, please." Brian was begging in Dean's ear. Dean turned to him with tears in his eyes. "Brian, I'm sorry for choking you." Dean said brushing past him. "No, baby, it's okay. Dean, just do it again, please!" Brian sobbed as Dean grabbed clothes and pulled them on. Brian fell into him. His eyes overflowing with emotions. Loss, hurt, pain, jealousy, rage, love. "Do it, Dean." Brian said pushing Dean into the dresser. He pounced at the larger man, hitting him with his small fists. Dean grabbed Brian's arms as he heard the creak of his bedroom door. Bo stood there staring onward as he watched Dean's eyes avert to him from Brian. He watched Brian's seemingly smaller than ever body jerk around in a mixture of sobs and pain and then pull away from Dean. "What's wrong, Brian?" Bo asked sincerely. "Go away, Bo." Brian said turning around with the most evil look on his face. Bo watched as Brian fell to the ground and convulsed. Dean knelt and held Brian's newly bruised head still. "Bo, go turn on the cold water in the shower." He looked down as Brian's eyes rolled to the back of his head. He could almost hear Brian's heart beating. And then it wasn't. Brian suddenly stopped his convulsions. There was no audible beat. Dean picked Brian's limp body up and walked calmly to the bathroom. Bo could immediately feel the remaining heat leaving Brian's cold body. "What happened?" Bo said as tears filled his brown eyes. Dean didn't say a word. He sat down in the shower with Brian's body and let the water wash them. "Call an ambulance." Dean directed emotionlessly. Bo quickly left the room. Dean kissed Brian's increasingly cold forehead. "It's okay, Bry. I'm here. I'm so sorry, Brian. Baby, I just lost my temper, that's all. Wake up." Dean whispered. He kissed Brian's forehead and rocked with him. The shallow beat from Brian's back against Dean's chest gave him hope. "Stay with me, okay? Don't leave me, Bry. You're my first love, Brian." Dean kissed Brian's head. Bo sat outside the door wondering what went wrong in this back room. He heard faint arguing, but it stopped. Then he heard a loud bang or a thump and then there was nothing. And then there was Brian's pleading and sobbing that made Bo want to check on them. The knock at the door scared Bo out of his thoughts. He directed the paramedics to the bathroom and watched over one of their shoulders as they lifted Brian up. "He's barely breathing." One of them called. The other took this as a cue to grab the stretcher. He brought in blankets and set up the stretcher for Brian's limp, but alive body. The other paramedic laid the body down with ease and wrapped him in one of the blankets while the other one was being wrapped around Dean square shoulders by the other man. Bo and Dean insisted on riding in the truck all the way to the hospital. The paramedics allowed it. They saw that Dean may or may not have been in a stable condition and they needed Bo's sanity. "What happened," the paramedic, Joe, asked. Bo looked to Dean who sharply looked back. "He, uh, started having a seizure. Then I thought he wasn't breathing. Bo turned on the water. I thought he was having a negative reaction to getting clean." Dean said glaring at the EMT. "What drug?" Joe asked. Dean felt his chin began to tremble and he couldn't help but to think of what the future would hold. Would Brian ever be able to get clean? Dean would never be able to forgive himself if Brian died in the hospital. He was the one who pushed Brian to get clean anyway. And he also slammed Brian's head into the nightstand. "Cocaine," Dean finally said. "I-I just wanted to get him clean. I'm sorry, Brian." Dean said turning to the stretcher and holding Brian's hand.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen: Make Bail**

Arriving at the hospital was like life in slow motion. Dean and Bo hopped out of the truck and watched as the paramedics rolled the stretcher through the hospital into a room with a curtain as the door. "How long is this going to take?" Dean asked the nurse on duty. "Um, I'm not sure. Maybe an hour or so. He had some pretty nasty bruising in the back of his head. They want to reduce the swelling in his brain. Probably just a concussion." She smiled. "Are you his boyfriend?" She asked next. Dean replayed his and Brian's conversation in his head. Brian told Dean they weren't together. "No," Dean said. This response caused Bo to whip his head around. Dean stared up at him from his seat. Dean noticed the doctor coming from behind the curtain. He stood up and made his way over to the man. "What happened?" Dean asked. "Family?" The doctor asked. "Yeah," Dean lied. Brian never knew his family, so Dean believed his lie. "He suffered a minor concussion. Swelling in his brain. Oxygen therapy will suffice, but tell me something..." The doctor invited Dean to give his name. "Dean," Dean bit. "How did he attain the swelling in the back of his head?" The doctor asked. Dean had strangely been in this situation before with Brian. Never this close to death, but once they had planned to rob a liquor store for cash for coke and Brian chickened out. Dean was angry and he slammed Brian's head into a light post. Brian attained a concussion and when the doctors asked Dean how he got it, Dean told the truth and got arrested. Drug charges and battery. But this time Brian almost died. Not that he didn't want to, but Dean wanted to pay for what he did to the love of his life. "I slammed his head on the edge of the nightstand. I was choking him...and he was holding his breath." Dean said watching the on duty police officer pull out his cuffs. "Dean, stop," Bo said looking Dean in his eyes. "No, Bo that's exactly what happened. That's the truth." Dean finished as the officer slapped the cuffs on him. "When he wakes up, Bo, you tell him where I am. Tell him I'm sorry. That I never meant to hurt him." Dean yelled as he was dragged away. Bo sat with his head in his hands for the next two hours. He only looked up when the nurse rubbed his back while she sat next to him. "He's awake," she said softly. Bo was a bit apprehensive to say the least. The last time he saw Brian in full control of himself, he was telling Bo to 'go away' and he gave him an all-evil look. Bo slowly made his way to the curtain and slid into the room. There was a chair waiting for his butt and Brian was staring at the ceiling. Although Bo couldn't see the man's face completely, he could see how much pain he was in. Bo sat down and sighed. "Hi, Bo," Brian said weakly. He let out something resembling a laugh. "Not even a week with Dean and he's hitting me again." This morbid subject made Bo smile nervously as Brian turned his head to him. "I wanted him to, though. They have me on this morphine drip. It's so different from coke. It's making me really chill and relaxed. I wanted Dean to understand how bad I wanted to die. I was holding my breath while he was choking me. That's the trick. Let me ask you something, Bo. Has Dean ever slapped you around?" Brian questioned staring at Bo. Bo searched for an answer. He didn't want to make Dean out to be a monster, but the answer was yes. "He, uh, used to choke me a lot. And grab my face." Bo claimed letting his words trail off. "Really?" Brian said wanting to jump up like a gossiping girl, but the morphine wouldn't let him. "I thought he loved you. He actually talked to you. I feel like I know Dean, but I don't know Dean. You know what I mean? Like he's so different now. But he's obviously not. He would've killed me. I asked him to. Do you have a cigarette?" Brian asked. "You're on oxygen, Brian. Besides you can't smoke indoors, anyway." Bo smiled. "Where is Dean?" Brian smiled back. "I want him to finish me off." He said still smiling. "He, uh, admitted to choking you and banging your head against the nightstand. They took him downtown. He loves you, too Brian. He was so scared of losing you. Why do you want to leave him so bad?" Bo inquired. Brian looked back up at the ceiling. "I don't. Just that...I don't want to be toxic. I mean, I don't want to be clean. I can't go without drugs and please save the 'you can do it' speech for someone else. I never had anyone. A mom, she chose her pervert boyfriend over me when I was eleven. A dad, I never knew the bastard, but I think I saw him at a casino one time. Anyway, drugs is all I know. How to get them and how to do them. When me and Dean were together...the sex was so good. All we talked about was where the next fix was coming from and what trick I could turn to get it. I think in some sick way...Dean wants that memory to stay alive. He wants to remember life for what it was and not what it is. But I feel like he's stuck. He's in the middle of you and me. You're sober and I'm addicted. He remembers our so-called love being so strong and he wants that back, but he knows that what you guys had...or have...is just as good so he wants to turn me into you. Like morph us. He wants his cake and to eat it too. You're just right for him, Bo. I can feel it. One day, when I overdose, he'll be crying at my funeral, because that's nostalgia lost. But he'll turn and put his head on your shoulder and he'll know that that's where he belongs. He'll get over me. When that day comes...he'll be happy, you'll be happy, and I'll be happy." Brian finished dry-eyed while Bo weeped. "Go get him out, Bo." Brian said. Bo stood up and opened the curtain. He walked out and was surprised to see Dean standing in front of the nurse's desk chatting it up. "Dean, what happened?" Bo asked sliding his fingers between Dean's. "Someone posted my bail. I didn't even know him. Dave B. They wouldn't give me a last name upon his request." Dean stared at Bo's face as it turned as white as his natural tan would let it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen: Florida**

"What are you so frantic about?" Dean asked as they got out of the taxi. "I can't tell you, Dean." Bo said opening the door to Dean's home. Bo rushed in and stopped. He turned around to Dean. "He's been here, Dean." Bo said. He could smell his pimp's imitation Gucci cologne from a mile away. He knew he was in trouble. "I have to go. I'm sorry, Dean. It's him. He knows where I've been staying for the past five days. How...how would he know that?" Bo was all out of tears now. He needed a bus ticket. "Dean," Bo said embarrassed by the simple thought of the question. "Can I borrow fifty bucks?" Bo said looking down at his feet. Dean grabbed his shoulders. "As soon as you tell me who bailed me out of jail." Dean asked nervously. Bo felt tears coming to his dry eyes. He tilted his head upward. As much as he loved Dean, Bo didn't want this anymore. He just wanted to go home. Home to his parents, and his brother, and his sister. Even if it wasn't the fast paced life he dreamed of, at least he could say he loved them and expect to get a response. "It was Dave. My pimp. You know what, Dean, I don't need that fifty dollars after all. I know what I'll do." Bo let his last sentence trail. He had to make right with Dave before he left. He couldn't leave open wounds in Vegas. Realizing this he broke from his frantic collecting of various items and turned around to Dean, who was staring at him speechlessly. Bo stepped closer to Dean and locked lips with him. It was a cool, breathy, almost nervous kiss. Bo felt a spark, but let it die.


End file.
